His truth

It ended with a lie. The promise that they'd never walk away. I'm prone to being one of the most gullible people alive. The words ring over and over in my head. "LIAR" "COWARD". "FOOL". I recited them when I wake and as I fall asleep. I knew it was going to happen. I didn't want to believe it, to believe I allowed myself to be fooled again. I listened to it again. I re read the entirety of the rebirth.  The signals, gestures. I guess you did have reason to be guilty. I thought about returning your bracelet, no, I'm going to throw it away. I'm slowly throwing you away. I'm going to do exactly what you did to me. Goodbye my friend, my love, we never should have met. I regret you.

The monster in my heart

 I know fear. The instant where comfort is lost and replaced with a panic. In my head I can navigate thru all the tunnels of being a woman. I can realize what battles to choose, but in my heart there is a beast growing. A beast I have let out too many times. A demon who can destroy everything in its path one soul at a time. I have subdued this creature one dose at a time. I have channeled my anger into organization or even in the glowing end of a cigarette. Breathe in, Breath out, just breath.
But how do you breathe when you feel claustrophobic, sinking.  You have that pulling from the river coaxing you to begin that decent to the depths.